Today was overwhelming. Extremely overwhelming.
I haven't even taught yet! I've got a couple of days' reconnaissance before I start teaching on Wednesday (two days a week until summer). It probably didn't help that it was extremely hot today, or that the pupils participated in an off-site sports event, or that the Year 6 have just had SATs - but the kids were all over the place. It was a typical "big fish, little pond" scenario for most of the Year 6s, clearly ready for the secondary school move. There were gobby girls and attention-seeking boys. To be honest, I didn't much notice the others because I was so caught up in my fear of standing up in front of these animals (well they are animals, aren't they?!) I even got - "Miss, are you new? I should probably warn ya - I'm a bit of a troublemaker, I am." He was not far wrong.
After finally arriving home (I'm still working as a part-time sports coach so I will go there after school) I looked at the plan I'd laid out for Wednesday with the other class teacher (who would then be out the school). I had a million and one questions - little, insignificant things - Do they have a lining up order? What does that bell mean? What's the photocopier code? Where are the atlases? Is there a register monitor? Who's that member of staff? What do I do if a child feels sick? Are they allowed to have their water bottles out? Do they have to write the learning objective down all the time? (Just writing these down makes me feel sick...)
The idea of four lessons in a row with three different sets of children and a thousand worries for each lesson (admittedly, a result of my overthinking) - well, I'm ashamed to admit that I cried when I got home. As my mum said: "teaching is teaching! Take one lesson at a time. You've trained for four years to do this, it's what you've always wanted and now you've finally got it!"
I'm just so overwhelmed.
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